Sweet twenTEEN :DD *January 29, 2009

*picture: made by ambal joyce dimasin! thanks ambal ko! ♥


I'm 20 years old already. I can't believe the years that i've been going through. The hardest to the easiest problems that are destined for me to realized that life isn't easy to handle! I am bound to experienced things for the coming years. A bit harder i guess especially now that i'll be working at CVC San Jose.

I am hitting the floor to share my 20 things, thoughts, experiences for the past years that made a scar on my life!

1. January 29, 1989 - the day i was born, 'nuff said.

2. Learning to talk, walk, play, and to bike. lol!

3. Schooling - Elementary was memorable. It was there when i experienced my first love and first heartache at a young age. I've joined such competitions like poster making, slogan and i was able to be a part of The Blaze, Barangayette Officers.

4. HighSchool - I became our class top 1. Whew! All the hardships are worth enough for me to join the pilot class next year ( sophomore stage )

5. First Boyfriend- He is my first love, everyone knows that! It's a good thing that we're friends =)



***** to be continued..

Forbidden LOve ( September 23, 2007 - January 12, 2009 )

I'm not bitter. I am better! When i said it, i mean it! But then again, there were times when i often told to myself if i am a good girlfriend. I am quite selfish, greedy, inconsiderate or immature enough that's why i encounter some fights with my Ex's.

My fairytale finally ended its way in a nice but a heartless conversation. Whenever i glance into the girl's profile i can't help but to think. Like if she's taking care of him in my way that nobody does, i guess. But, she has her own way that's why Trigz fall for her. I know i don't have to discuss these things, but i am just emphasizing the entire emotions that are been unraveled.

My friends always ask me if i am okay or just controlling my tears about the breakup. Again, i am very much confident to confide that i don't even cry during our breakup. I don't even got hurt when i finally caught him hiding this things ( I'm talking about the girl! ). For the last time, i just want him to be the first to tell that one. I just want him to be frank and be staightforward when it comes to his feelings. Was it a nice act, right?

We've been good friends since day one, eventhough this relationship wasn't good i won't let this thing affect our great friendship. Am i too kind or just martyr enough when it comes to him? I don't know, maybe i'm all grown up. Thinking that a little stuff like these shouldn't be taken seriously for it might kill my concentration about my goals in the future.

For the meantime, i just want to be alone. I just don't want to get acquainted with new people ( especially guys ). Maybe I'm just afraid to commit in a new relationship for it might hurt a lot the way Jesster did it to me for the first ten months of our relationship.

Someday, my prince will walk into my life without hesitations, lies, hidden emotions, and secrets. He will make me happy the way everyone wants. He will be honest, faithful, loyal and won't even hide things that may destroy our relationship. It's quite impossible to have a prince who possess this qualities, but who knows he's just around and I'm just blind enough to see him.. =]

Steep By Nina

People who are falling out of love can relate with this song..

Steep - Nina

Softly, gently, I will let you down
Cause I don’t love you in the same way now
I can hold you but not with lover’s arms
Cause you are more of a brother to me now
And I can lie next to you, but I can’t lie to you

So walk into the sun and watch me
Run into the rain,
For you the future’s easy, so don’t weep, for me it’s getting
Steep

I loved you for exactly who you are,
And I’d say you’ve come the nearest yet by far,

And I can lie next to you, but I can’t lie to you

So walk into the sun and watch me
Run into the rain,
For you the future’s easy, so don’t weep, for me it’s getting

Steeper and in the dark that’s where I want to be
Deeper, I’m going somewhere you won’t want to see…

So walk into the sun and watch me
Run into the rain,
For you the future’s easy, so don’t weep
Yes I will watch you,
Walk into the sun and watch me
Run into the rain drops
For you the future’s easy, so don’t weep
For me it’s getting
Steep.

STEEP.. *sigh

Forever may not be forever unless the two of you worked hard on it.It's like you're entering a phase of your life where you meet uncertainties. Once, the two of you are so into each other, but love also fades like a beauty of a dying rose.

Why? I just don't know. Whenever that thought enters my mind,the only thing i knew is that I'm tired of meeting a new guy, getting acquainted with him and who knows he may hurt me like the way some guys did it to me before.

I love my guy now, but with all respect that if he's tired of this thing, I'll let him go. I'm not a selfish girl, i know when to let go and to hold on. It's just that a relationship with an undefined status for the moment isn't nice, so why continue it if you're feelings are bound to steep?

It hurts when your partner is falling out of love with you. The hard thing is you never know unless he's somewhat cold and most of all he won't speak unless you ask her/him. Honesty is a must. If you're not a heartless one, why let him/her suffer?

People change. People regret. People love. But they can never love again the way they've love someone before. And with this experience i had right now, i think i can never love like this again.


"Nothing is constant in this world. Everything change."