Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Forbidden LOve ( September 23, 2007 - January 12, 2009 )
I'm not bitter. I am better! When i said it, i mean it! But then again, there were times when i often told to myself if i am a good girlfriend. I am quite selfish, greedy, inconsiderate or immature enough that's why i encounter some fights with my Ex's.
My fairytale finally ended its way in a nice but a heartless conversation. Whenever i glance into the girl's profile i can't help but to think. Like if she's taking care of him in my way that nobody does, i guess. But, she has her own way that's why Trigz fall for her. I know i don't have to discuss these things, but i am just emphasizing the entire emotions that are been unraveled.
My friends always ask me if i am okay or just controlling my tears about the breakup. Again, i am very much confident to confide that i don't even cry during our breakup. I don't even got hurt when i finally caught him hiding this things ( I'm talking about the girl! ). For the last time, i just want him to be the first to tell that one. I just want him to be frank and be staightforward when it comes to his feelings. Was it a nice act, right?
We've been good friends since day one, eventhough this relationship wasn't good i won't let this thing affect our great friendship. Am i too kind or just martyr enough when it comes to him? I don't know, maybe i'm all grown up. Thinking that a little stuff like these shouldn't be taken seriously for it might kill my concentration about my goals in the future.
For the meantime, i just want to be alone. I just don't want to get acquainted with new people ( especially guys ). Maybe I'm just afraid to commit in a new relationship for it might hurt a lot the way Jesster did it to me for the first ten months of our relationship.
Someday, my prince will walk into my life without hesitations, lies, hidden emotions, and secrets. He will make me happy the way everyone wants. He will be honest, faithful, loyal and won't even hide things that may destroy our relationship. It's quite impossible to have a prince who possess this qualities, but who knows he's just around and I'm just blind enough to see him.. =]